The rose does not bloom on the same day you sow it. And it does not fade the moment it unfolds.
Everything’s time. Human time in which one cannot see with the naked eye what is happening.
In fact, everything happens every minute. There is an event at any moment. It may be invisible, but it is there.
It took your mother 9 months to create you, but you have lived in space since the dawn of time. Ever since your father fell in love with your mother, you have been maturing to appear ever since. And when you were born, it took you 12 years to start puberty. And 22 to begin accepting that you are divine. The potential requires time and small, every second changes.
What do you mean, soul?
Patience and relaxation. Yes, I will repeat it at you until you learn your lesson. To be here. Not to wait. Not to act. To be, pure and simple. YES. Just as life has no goals, there are no things to strive for – it tries and if it likes something or it does well, life leaves it be. He may or may not develop it. You have grasped the part with trying, but not with letting go. And that’s half of your existence – letting go. The departure. The interruption. The pain. Detachment. The devastation.
Life is bipolar, yes. As it creates and tries, so it destroys, sometimes without wanting to. You are here for the same reason. You are bipolar in this sense – you create and then you abandon or destroy, or you leave and you don’t look back anymore. As a conveyor belt, there is nowhere but forward. It does not return. What is created is not uncreated, nor is what is destroyed – restored. The action has been taken. That’s it.
It sounds very extreme, but it’s true. Relaxation occurs by melting in the moment. It is easiest when the moment is full of pleasure – whether it will be good food, a wondorrous smell, a beautiful view or a gentle touch, it does not matter. The Now is important. The sensations in your body, how when you are aroused by superb sensations. It does not have to be sexual arousal, but simply your body enjoys life and expects passion to embrace it. When you’re wet just by the sight, you know you’re on the right track. When you feel the fire in you without being active in any way, you know that this is the place and the moment you need to be. Now, as I write, my nipples are bristling and this brings me pleasure, helps me immerse myself in writing. I like the letters in Bulgarian and they bring me joy – the Latin alphabet not so much. I am honest and that makes me happy, excites me for life. It makes me open up and relax. A bit like a thermal pool. Oh, the pools in Budapest and the company I was with… They opened me up to a new sensual feeling and experience. I can’t wait to go again, but this time alone. To dissolve on my own and find my own support. In Budapest, I relied on someone else so that I wouldn’t float away, so that the water wouldn’t carry me away. As much as I liked it, he won’t be always around in his physical form. We often need to be our own support and foundation. And in the water sometimes this is not necessary, as long as we accept that we do not know where it will take us. Let’s relax and let the fear manifest itself to go away. Let him in and over yourself so he’ll be satisfied that he has warned us, and then let him drain from our bodies. Only then does the endless soaring in the water become pleasant and can take you where you are headed, even if you do not know it. I love you, Annie. Allow yourself to be like water, like a leaf on its surface – tender and defenseless, but completely committed to the moment. And the leaf doesn’t know where it’s going, and it cannot resist and prevent the water from taking it where it has to go. Everything happens for you. That’s right, don’t be afraid. Your only task is to let the fear go and relax. You say you love surprises. Let us give them to you. Let us prepare them for you. Let us choose when and how to surprise you. Relax in the universal thermal pool. You will not drown, there are no waves. We will just cover you and keep you warm to make sure you are comfortable. You like that, don’t you? The warmth of the moment caresses your body like a caring lover and we want you to open up to these caresses. You yourself are a conductor of touch, you are a messenger and your very presence opens the eyes and bodies of others. Allow yourself to receive a part of your own love. Part of your own light. Illuminate your own darkness. Illuminate and love your body and mind. Illuminate and love your secrets, which you even hide from yourself. We are here to wash them away and keep you in love. Water, water, water. Heat. Cosiness. A hug. Kiss on the forehead. A kiss on the hair. Touch on the forearm. Caress on the back. Cupping a breast. Lips glued together. Eskimo nose-rubbing. Palm on the thigh, sliding down. The other hand is wrapped around your waist with a palm resting on your lower belly. Sharing. Closeness. The feeling of a foreign heartbeat in sync with the water. The lower part of your back, attached to someone’s belly. A hardness that burns my mind. Hinting at indescribable things. Experience and complete dissolution in one’s embrace as a prelude to dissolution in the universe. This is orgasmic life. A quiet splash, a somebody else’s pulse in perfect harmony with yours, warmth and touch. The world surrounds you.