Another month that both flew by insanely fast and was so slow. A period that both began and ended with a pain in my ass, emotional exhaustion and challenging situations, which also led to the posting delay of this article. 👀
First week (02 – 08.05)
I flew back to Latvia on the 4th of May – a whole day of travel. Manuel came to pick me up from the airport, we had lunch together, and then on the way back to Liepaja, he let me nap. There were some cute kiddos on the bus, which kept me entertained when I was awake.
On Thursday, I was going to hang out with Jekabs after work but I finished early and then fell asleep when I got home. I felt guilty about it, and we didn’t actually hang out till the end of the month. I’m not sure how badly I fucked up with him or if that’s just how things are now.
On Friday, I went out with Elina to hang out, and she gave me an adorable gift – biscuits, a cool nail polish, lipstick, and some face masks. It was also the Open Stage evening, so at work, Manuel and I helped with the setup and everything. It went well, Alrun, Livio, and Paul came (Alrun and Livio are the volunteers I met during my on-arrival training, and Paul is their ‘senior’ volunteer). There was an after-party at Wiktorija, the venue, but we had our own – we talked and joked a lot. I ended up forgetting my phone there – Manuel went back to pick it up and I walked our guests home.
On Saturday, Manuel and I overslept – I woke up at 8, then fell right back asleep since almost everyone was still sleeping. Around 11, when both of us finally got enough sleep, we woke up to our guests missing. Alrun, Livio, and Paul went out to eat and explore Liepaja. Manuel and I got ready to go out, went to the bakery for breakfast, and while we were walking to the others, a seagull swooped in really close to my head, scratching my scalp with its claws. That made me anxious for a while, but soon we were shopping at the second-hand shop, where Manuel gifted me a date outfit, which we both liked. The day went on with a short walk on the beach and a visit to the museum an hour before closing time – the ladies there tried to shoo us away 30 minutes in. One even ran after us to lock the door when we left 😀 The guys caught their bus home in the afternoon, while Manuel and I went around pharmacies to get him some medication he was taking. That was an ordeal on its own because the pharmacists barely spoke English, so I tried my best explaining what we need in Russian and translating their replies. One of the ladies spoke Russian mixed in with a lot of Latvian words so it took me longer to figure out what she was saying. At some point though, Manuel switched to Italian… that was on a whole ‘nother level as I don’t speak Italian!! My mind just turned off after that.
Most of Sunday I spent at home, resting, and took a nap. Manuel went to do groceries and got back with a cute small gift, a Karums (I wrote what that is in the January article).
Second week (09 – 15.05)
On Monday, Manuel and I had to lead a workshop about Youth Mobility Opportunities – this was a presentation Olena and I did, but for the most part, I did the talking. As it was Manuel’s first time even hearing the presentation and the information within it, I tried to include him in the non-specific parts of it. It went well as the visiting class was interested and participated in the activities.
I had some calls with friends throughout the week and my sleep rhythm changed almost completely – the long-ass days are taking their toll on me, along with the nice company that is readily available 24/7 at home. This and the previous week I barely slept as I’d talk with a friend or with Manuel till midnight and then wake up at 6 am because of the bright sun.
I went to Estonia on the weekend to see Karo (We met in Romania in 2020).
On Friday, Karo took me to a very tasty hipster Indian restaurant for dinner, and on Saturday to a pancake place (Estonian pancakes! ✨) – the food was soo good. Friday and the next Monday (the 16th) were spent traveling from Liepaja to Tallin and back – suuuch long days!
We walked around Tallin’s center and its Old Town on Saturday – turns out I went exactly for Tallin days, so there was an awesome concert at the Presidential park on Sunday by a Ukrainian orchestra and by popular Estonian singers. In between, we went to her dad’s beach house and I watched Eurovision’s finale with her family. Sunday we walked through a forest to the beach, had fries at a shore-front restaurant, and enjoyed the sea.
Third week (16 – 22.05)
One evening this week I did card readings for Manuel’s family and neighbor – it was fun listening to my intuition being translated into Italian. His neighbor spoke German, and I tried to channel in German but it all came out in Dutch ;// so I switched back to English, while Manuel translated and his neighbor asked me questions in German.
We were busy this week – we visited three schools with the Youth Opportunity presentation, two on Wednesday and one on Thursday. On Thursday, I met Elizabeth, who is a dance show dancer, and told me I could join her studio, which got me excited * – * but I still haven’t gathered the courage to actually text the teacher. Later the same day, Elina and I discussed what leaders inspire me.
Friday was unexpected – Diana was invited to talk about summer youth opportunities at the Innovation Hub Liepaja, so she asked Manuel and me to join. She didn’t have time to include us in the presentation, though. So we just attended the event, not understanding most of it. At 6 pm, I met Šarlote – she had asked Dagnija to meet me so we can talk about spirituality, which is exactly what we did for 2 hours straight. We tried meeting up the following week before she went to Germany to visit her family, but it fell through as I got a cold. I am excited to see her again in June. <3
On the weekend, there was an ethnic festival in Liepaja – the Youth House participated on Saturday with games for youngsters. I learned how to walk on stilts and enjoyed the craft market.
Manuel got an eye infection and Diana took him to the hospital on Sunday because his eye started bleeding.
Fourth week (23 – 29.05)
This week Ieva gave us the opportunity to prepare and lead team-building activities on the 30th and 31st for two high school classes, but I ended up not participating in them – Manuel led them alone because I got new boils ;/At the end of this week, Manuel had his on-arrival training (Thursday – Saturday) so I had to be quieter when I was at home.
Sometime this month, Manuel met some Italians that were in Liepaja for an Erasmus exchange, so he introduced me to them on Thursday, and they turned out to have a big group of exchange students, that like to party.
A friend of mine came to visit coming on Friday – he arrived around 8 in the evening. Before that, there was a ceramics workshop at the Youth House, where I tried to make a ceramic SHINee glowstick 😀 It didn’t really work as it kept falling apart. My friend, Manuel and I went to party with the Erasmus students on Friday and Saturday. We hosted the pre-game on the second evening and to our surprise, 20 people showed up, when only 10 said they would. Some of the beach bars in Liepaja opened that weekend and we got to check them out. I had fun dancing the first night and decided to stay at home after the pregame on Saturday. Sunday we took it chill and invited some of our new friends for a quiet evening at home.
The whole weekend I had a pain on my hip that kept getting worse.
Last days (30 & 31.05)
My friend left early on Monday morning. The pain I just mentioned? It hit a peak on Monday when I was angry at the world and could barely move – I got new booooils ;/ I usually treat myself with homeopathy until/unless I feel that it’s not working and I need the help of traditional medicine. My choice of waiting a bit before I take antibiotics was the topic of a few heated arguments with Manuel. They came to a boil (see what I did there? :D) on June 1st… what happened then you’ll read about in my June article.
This was the beginning of almost 10 days I spent in constant pain and in bed.
Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually throughout the month
The first week I was happy to be getting back to my normal ‘sitting’ function after my Easter boils. I was excited to spend time with Manuel and go on dates. Little did I know that we won’t have time for that because of our previous commitments, work, and his new friends. Later in the month the mismatch of our respective priorities and lack of time began upsetting me, and it turned into an issue between us. In June there were developments in this, which I’ll share in the next article.
The visits to and of my friends were very nice, albeit a little too much for such a short amount of time. I am a person that enjoys being social once in a while, preferably 1 on 1 or in a small group, and I got guests or was a guest for 3 full weekends this month with hangouts and parties. No regrets, just needed more sleep after it. I am incredibly grateful for the people I have met and stayed in contact with throughout the years and countries. <3
At the end of the month, I began getting more easily irritated and angry – one of the holistic reasons for boils can be exactly that: suppressed anger. Add to that my fatigue from the intense social fun I had and from sleeping too little as the sun is now out from 4 am until around 11 pm in Latvia – Manuel found thick curtains close to the end of the month and put them up in June. So grateful 💖
The month truly ended with a negative spiral of feelings: anger at my past self, anger at memories of what people did, feeling like a burden when I’d ask for help, navigating the new relationship, being too hard on myself for not having written any new chapters for Confessions of a woman in love. I did start an article on accepting death in all its forms and on forgetting the situations, where you learned valuable lessons while keeping the gained wisdom. As life is a bit overwhelming in the past few weeks, I haven’t finished it yet but when I do, you can find it on this blog 🙂
Spiritually, this month felt like a preparation for a new reality – I don’t know what that reality will be, but I am proud of the effort I put into grounding myself in it as my feelings tell me it’s for my highest good. Regardless of how painful or joyous it might be, the newness is always expansive.
Check back on here around the 15th of July to read about my June in Latvia! <3